[Verse 1]

Hi, are you Jake? You look… different than your pic.

That filter was a scam and I’m panicking quick.

You said “I’m six foot,” but I think that’s with heels.

He’s five-eight tops and I’m losing my chill.

So, uh, do you like dogs? Or… silence?

Please say something, this tension is violent.

You’re into crypto? Wow, that’s… cool.

He’s either broke or thinks I’m a fool.

You said you “don’t believe in small talk.”

But you just monologged about your TikTok.

You asked if I “vibe with chaos and fate.”

Translation: you ghost people and call it innate.

[Pre-Chorus]

Our friend said we’d click, like stars aligned.

She lied, she lied, she’s dead to me tonight.

You ordered oysters? Bold move, I guess.

He’s trying too hard and I’m kinda stressed.

You said “I’m not like other guys,”

That’s what all the other guys say before they cry.

[Chorus]

Nice to meet you, I guess?

Do you always talk this much about your ex?

You said “I’m deep, but I party too.”

He’s a walking TED Talk with no follow-through.

Nice to meet you, I guess?

You asked if I “believe in fate and sex.”

I smiled and said, “Let’s see where this goes…”

But I’m texting my friend under the table, bro.

[Verse 2]

You said you’re “spiritual, but not into labels.”

Except for your protein shakes and cables.

You asked if I’m “emotionally available.”

For this? No. For dessert? Debatable.

You said you vibe with “chaotic energy.”

That’s code for “I ghost people casually.”

You asked if I’d ever “dated a Scorpio.”

Just great, he's also into horoscopes

You said “I’m poly, but I’m loyal too.”

That’s a riddle I won’t try to undo.

You asked if I’d ever “cried during jazz.”

What kind of question even is that?

[Bridge]

I laughed too loud, you spilled your wine,

You said “This feels like a movie, right?”

If it is, I’m the girl who escapes mid-flight.

You leaned in close, I leaned away,

You said “We should do this again someday…”

News flash, I’m moving to Norway.

You said “I feel like we’ve met before.”

Probably in a past life I blocked you for sure.

You asked if I’d “write a song about this.”

Already did. You're listening to it

[Final Chorus]

Nice to meet you, I guess?

You quoted Nietzsche while I clutched my dress.

You said “I’m deep, but I party too.”

He’s a walking TED Talk with no follow-through.

Nice to meet you, I guess?

I said “Let’s split the bill,” you looked distressed.

You said “I’ll text,” I said “Sure, okay…”

And blocked him before I walked away.

[Outro]

So thanks to our friend for the setup, I guess.

Next time I’ll pass and skip the stress.

I smiled and waved as I hailed a cab,

And whispered to myself, “Don’t look back.”